It Hurts to See You and Him
by hungrywhovianpotterhead
Summary: Hook is pulled into a curse which sends him back in time, to when Neal and Emma are on their whirl-wind romance, robbing convenience stores, and squatting in hotel rooms. But what will Killian do when August comes into play and he has to watch Emma experience the heartbreak that built all of her walls? Will he change the past? Or let Emma down in her time of need?
1. prologue

**A/N Hello fanfiction readers, so this idea has bounced a lot around in my brain of all brains for some time, a time travel fic, that has touches of Swanfire, and Oodles of Captain Swan. I hope you all enjoy, and I hope at least some of you like it enough to drop a couple of words in that commenting box at the bottom of the page**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing**

 **Beta'd by: Looselipswontsinkships on Tumblr**

 **Without further ado, the prologue**

Emma was beautiful tonight, her hair tied up in that ponytail, her green eyes twinkling under the lights of Granny's her blue dress flowing around her as they dance. The jukebox is playing some song he's never heard before. All he knows is the woman in his arms, and he knows after they're done, he'll find out the name of the song, and play it on repeat. So he'll never forget this night, along with all the others.

All of his favorite memories revolve around Emma; their first adventure, working with her to get back to her son at the top of a beanstalk, the first moment he saw the spark of attraction in her eyes up there. Her allowing her fear to get the best of her, leading to her leaving him chained; in more ways than one. That fateful moment from when they were in Neverland to rescue her son, and that first kiss, leaving him breathless, even as she blew it off, and ran away, instructing him not to follow directly.

The ball in the Enchanted Forest, watching her eyes alight with wonder. The way her kisses tasted on the patio of Granny's after. That was only the beginning, as the weeks moved forward, giving them their first date and so many more, each one starring her. This night goes directly on that list.

It all began with a moonlight walk at the docks, leading them to Granny's, the old woman agreeing to close the restaurant; with some bribery on his part of course. Which led to him sweeping her into his arms, as a slow song began to trail from the back of the diner.

It all lead to this moment, blue eyes gazing into green, "Swan, have I told you how stunning you are this evening?" He asks

Emma laughs, and ducks her head before returning her eyes to his, "Yes, you have, about twenty time now." she said. It was a marvel how far they had come. Barely a month ago, she was so closed off. Her guard so high. Yet here she was, smiling and vulnerable in his arms. Barely a month ago, Killian thought he would never have this.

he chuckles, dipping her low "Only twenty? I must be slacking. Either that, or I have been stunned into silence by your beauty." he brought her back up, resuming their lazy circles.

"Shut up." She tells him, closing the gap between them. Pressing her lips to his, silencing him completely.

He made a small sound in the back of his throat, as his arms tightened around her. She leans in. Such a far cry from how they once were. Both of them had come so far. The light touches they shared, the easy way they joke and laugh together.

He didn't lie, when he said that he never thought he would move past Milah. Yet here he was, his Swan in his arms. His heart so full of emotions he was almost afraid to put a name to. Yet he already knew the name of it. The emotion that had taken hold of him, had turned him into a hero. Love. Love for the woman in his arms.

It is almost eleven before they finally depart Granny's and he drops her back at her parents' apartment, and kisses her goodnight.

"Goodnight, Killian." Emma whispered, eyes heavy with an unnamed emotion.

"Goodnight, Swan." He replied, his hand sliding down her arm, leaving goosbumps in his wake, "I'll see you tomorrow."

She smiled, "See you tomorrow." she told him starting to turn. She paused, then glanced back, "Killian." her voice was light, hesitant.

"Aye, Swan?" He asked.

A slight blush colored her cheeks, "I…" she paused, a flash of uncertainty, which she covered up quickly. His heart skipped a beat, was she going to say it? Tell him what he so desperately wanted to hear? 'say it' he urged silently. Emma gave him a small smile, a strange emotion in her eyes. "I'm really glad I agreed to go out with you again." she said, sounding a little disappointed.

He gave her another smile, a little disappointed to have read the moment wrong. But he could wait forever to hear her say it… "Aye. I'm glad you did as well."

The light turned on and off, and Emma groaned, "That's my cue to head inside." Emma said, though her ire was mostly for show, "I really need to get my own place."

Killian smiled, and kissed her cheek, allowing his lips to linger, trying to pass the words unsaid between them through the light contact, "Goodnight Swan." He whispered, Finally they split. Her going inside, where her parents awaited, and he back to his ship.

When he returns to the Jolly Roger, he's surprised to see Mr. Gold resting on a pile of barrels, "Did you enjoy your evening with Miss Swan, Captain?" he questions, a smirk upon his lips.

"What do you want Crocodile? You know very well you have no right to be on this ship." He growled, glaring at the dark one, his fist clenching at his side.

"Oh don't I?" Gold asks, slipping off the barrel, and stalking towards him, a dark humor glistening in his eyes, "I have as much right to be on this ship, as you have for a happy ending."

"What concern is my happy ending to you, Crocodile?" Killian demands, wishing he had his sword.

Gold smiles, "Well I've come to take it away, like you did for Bae."

Killian looks at him confused, "I did no such thing."

Gold whirls enraged, "Oh didn't you? Didn't take you long after his death to go after his happy ending. Oh wait, you didn't even wait for that did you?"

"I took his happy ending?" Killian demands. "You have no right! If anyone took Bae's happiness, it was you!" He growled, "Also, last I checked, Emma was no casual plunder! You left your son, and he left Emma! I had no hand in either! So the way I see it. The only blame there is, should be laid at your feet. Where it belongs." Killian jabbed a finger into Gold's chest, "You don't get to decide, who gets a happy ending and who doesn't." he told him in a low voice.

"I can, and do. Which is why I'm making sure you don't get yours." Gold promised.

"How on earth do you intend to do that?" Killian asked, raising a brow.

"A small amount of magic still remains from Zelena's curse, you know the one that sent you and Miss Swan into the past?" Gold holds up a small vial, "I gathered some of it up, a spell that powerful doesn't just fade away. It's gone now though, all of it in my hand."

Killian eyes the vial warily. "What do you plan on doing with that?"

Gold rolls his eyes uncapping the vial, the magic flowing out and onto the deck of the ship, a glowing portal opening up, Gold waves a hand, and Killian stumbles, pushed by magic into the swirling portal, with only Gold's warning to follow him, "It's time for your heart to break like mine. Villains don't get happy endings Dearie. You, pirate, are no exception."

Magic swirls around him, a loud roar in his ears, until all at once it was over, and Killian's senses were filled with the sound of honking horns, cars flying by on a busy thoroughfare, the shouting of vendors, trying to draw attention to their ware, and the smell of trash. He stumbles away from the wall he was deposited against by the spell. His mind was whirling. Trying to figure out where he landed. He scans his surroundings with a wary eye, trying to gather any clue as to where he was. The last thing he remembered he was facing off with Rumpelstiltskin, "Crocodile?!" he shouts, searching for any sign of the man in question. He pushes through the disorientation remaining of the spell, and stumbles out of the alley he's in and out onto the busy street.

Someone bumps into him as he's shouting for the Crocodile, someone mumbles something about a miserable drunk, but continues on shouting till he goes hoarse. Killian puts a hand to his head, taking a breath, he scans his surroundings again. This time, trying to find something to tell him, where the bloody spell sent him. He zeros in on what appears to be a news stand. The vendor exclaiming some celebrity break-up. He makes his way over to it. His small amount of knowledge of this world told him that it would tell him where he landed. His mind going back to what Gold told him; This was Zelena's spell. A spark of panic seizes him, it might not be as simple as finding his way back to Storybrooke. He shakes it off, knowing it would do him no good to panic, and picks up a paper, dropping a couple of bucks on the counter before threading back into the busy city street, reading the paper. He stops when he sees the date, "2001?" he looks up, just a moment ago he was in 2013.

He didn't know how he got here, he just knew he had to get back. That is till he heard a burst of laughter. He spins to the sound, relief flooding through him. Emma. He starts toward her, but stops. There was something different. It doesn't take long to figure out what. This Emma is younger, not yet burdened with the responsibility of being a savior. He stares at the young Emma Swan laughing with a man he doesn't know. She leans in, her hand slipping into his pocket and pulling out a wallet before apologizing for running into him. Then she shoved the wallet into her jacket pocket and cuts through an alley.

Unable to help it, Killian follows her. He sees her heading to a familiar beat up bug, pulling out a tool that wasn't hard to identify and picking the lock. After a cursory glance around, to try and make sure nobody saw her, she gets in, and hotwires the car. As she pulls away Killian remembers the story she told him of how she got her car.

" _I was stealing a car. This car." She said gesturing to the yellow bug they were reclined on, "I picked the lock, got in, hot-wired it with a screwdriver and rock, and was driving away. Suddenly this guy sits up in the back seat, nearly getting us into an accident." She smiled at the memory, "The guy was Neal, who knew, first comes grand theft auto next comes love." She joked, resting her head on his shoulder._

As though on cue, as the car pulls out onto the road, he sees a head pop over the back seat, and the car swerved. It suddenly dawned on him why the Crocodile sent him to this time, he knew Killian wouldn't be able to turn his back on Emma. He knew he wouldn't be able to resist protecting her heart again, like he always did.

Rumplestiltskin knew that Killian Jones would stop Emma Swan's heart from being broken by Neal Cassidy, by keeping Neal Cassidy from leaving her.

God this was not going to end well for him, but he couldn't do it, couldn't watch her get her heart, so fragile and ready to trust, broken. He had already seen it do so twice over Neal Cassidy. He couldn't watch it happen again.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N And here is Chapter 1! so some notes on this story. I have it all written, and ready to go, thanks to the help of the wonderful Looslips on tumblr, and I'm planning on updating once a week. Probably on Sundays, I really had fun writing this story, and I do hope that you all enjoy it, because it was a labor of love, and I just can't wait for you all to read it.**

 **Disclaimer: I own the clothes on my back, but not this show**

 **beta'd by: looselipswontsinkships on tumblr**

 **special thanks to: LunaE14, Cheryl487 and guest for reviewing last chapter and to all of you wonderful folks who put this story in your alerts lists!**

 **now without further ado, chapter 1**

After a few more stunned moments of standing, watching the end of the alley Emma had just left, Killian closed his eyes, letting out a shaky breath. He needed a drink. He needed lots of drinks. His heart was heavy from what he just learned. He had two choices. He could either protect Emma's heart, or he could stand by and watch as her heart broke. He wasn't sure he could handle watching it happen. This was the heartbreak that built her most insurmountable walls.

He slowly turned his back on the alley, and started moving down the street. He needed to get away.

No.

He needed to get back. Needed to return to his Emma. The one that danced with him under the stars. Who went sailing with him and her boy. "Bloody hell." He said under his breath, "This is a mess, isn't it Swan?" he pushed forward. The first thing he needed to do, was keep himself away from everything to do with Emma Swan. First he would try avoidance. Try not to interfere. If fate wanted him to play his hand, he would. But until then, he needed a drink. He found his way to a bar, and bought a bottle.

As he sat at the bar, nursing his drink, his mind whirled. It was clear to him, that Rumpelstiltskin's plan all along was to send Killian here to change what happened. Briefly he imagined stepping in. Making her fall in love with him first. Make it so Neal could never break her heart. So he could never hold it. Then his mind turned to Henry. Without Neal, Henry would never be born. He was far too fond of the boy to do that.

He glared into the amber depths of his glass, cursing his situation, and the impossible choice before him. Save Emma's heart? Or watch it break? He took another drink, attempting to chase his demons away.

~~Swan~~

He's not sure how long he was at the bar, only that the sun had sunk below the horizon whilst he drank his fears. It was only once he emerged that he realized he was a stranger in this world. He had no place to stay. His ship was moored safely within the confines of a curse at the moment, Swan's family, unaware within the confines of Storybrooke. His Swan didn't know who he was, and was on her way to heartbreak.

This was of course no new feeling for him, facing a long night without shelter, or place to sleep. Growing up in slavery led to many nights like this, though he had had Liam for each of those. Then when they returned to the Enchanted forest after the second curse. Even upon his return, when he traveled to New York, to find Emma and bring her home, He had slept on a park bench then, Surely it would be no different to do so now.

He cast a glance up and down the street and set off, his hand deep in his pocket. He had no real destination in mind. He kept going, his mind wandering to what Emma might be doing at the moment. He knew it was likely something with Neal. Despite all of the long nights spent talking about their pasts, Emma was always careful to avoid the months in which Neal was a part of her life. While they shared so much, he had never told her everything about Milah. Why would she tell him everything that happened with Neal? He sighed, he shouldn't be worrying about Emma now. The Emma now wasn't the one he knew. He should be worrying about how he could return to the Emma he knew.

He was walking past a closed amusement park when he noticed the gate was open. He glanced beyond the open gates. He couldn't see anyone. He stepped through. While he would be perfectly happy with a bench, he also wouldn't turn up his nose at a place with shelter. He moved quietly through the park, wary because the gate was open. Ahead he saw lights glowing from one of the rides. His instincts told him to turn away, don't go to them. It was probably a security guard, or someone working maintenance on the ride.

He was a few rides away, when he heard soft voices. At least two. A man, and… Emma. Even though he couldn't hear what they were saying, he would know the cadence of that voice. His heart seized again. He truly couldn't catch a break, could he? He tried to tell his feet to stop, tried to stop and turn around. Tried anything to keep himself from taking a hit of his favorite drug. But like always, his heart won over his brain, and he stepped into view.

Neither of them noticed him there. There they were, simply sitting, and talking in soft tones on the swings of some tall contraption, which Killian assumed spun when fully powered.

The moment seemed so intimate, that by just being there he felt as though he was intruding, so he finally felt the strength to look away. Killian shook his head, this was crazy. He shouldn't even be here. He should be back in Storybrooke. He should be waking in the morning, and meeting Swan for waffles and hot cocoa at Granny's. Instead, thanks to the father of the man on the swings, that was no longer possible. He wasn't sure he would ever get back, or if Emma would want him when he did. He supposed it depended on the path he chose to take. Let Emma get her heart broken? Or save her heart one last time?

He felt a wave of rage surge through him. Who was Rumpelstiltskin to decide he was not worthy of Emma? When that same bastard was seeking to weasel his way back into the happy ending he felt he deserved? He would find a way back to Storybrooke, back to his Emma. Then? Then Rumpelstiltskin would pay. No he wouldn't seek revenge. Emma would never forgive him that. He couldn't bear to hurt her like that again, not after his lying to her almost got her killed by that damn hat. No, he would take down the Crocodile, the way a hero would. By exposing him for the man he really is. With another glance back to Emma, as she swayed back and forth, a cup clasped in her hands, he finally turned and left Emma and Neal behind him.

He had made his choice. Despite the pain he knew it would cause. Killian Jones was going to stay away from Emma Swan. He was going to do everything in his power not to let the Crocodile win. Even if that meant he let her heart break.

He made it to a secluded part of the park with an enclosed pod that would protect him from the worst of the elements, then he stared out the opening and into the stars. How he wished those stars could truly lead him home. But home was a very long way away. Home was a musical laugh, and bright green eyes. And it was very, very far away.

Killian Jones fell into a fitful sleep, haunted by an evil giggle and swirling green portals, the words, "Villains don't get happy ending's Dearie" swirling in his mind.

 _ **please review**_

 _ **Captain Swan kisses for all of my darlings**_


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N Heyo guys! So I know it's a little late. I worked today, and that put a damper on anything getting done earlier. So just to make this clear, I'll not be painting Neal as a villain in this story, it is only slightly less Swanfire as it is Captain Swan. Basically there will be no Neal hate (aside from the slightly angry inner monologue of Killian Jones who is watching his true love slip down the road to heartbreak) so not much else to say, but this TWO WEEKS TIL THE PREMIER!**

 **Special thanks to: TheAnonymousAuthor for their enthusiastic review! (hope you like this one just as much xoxo)**

 **Beta'd by: Looselipswontsinkships on Tumblr (love you dear)**

 **disclaimer: I own a print of our lovely pirate, but alas not the show**

 **without further ado, Chapter 2**

It has been days since Killian decided, as he watched Emma glow under the lights of the amusement park that he would step away. Days since he last saw her golden hair, or heard her voice. Even longer since he held her in his arms. It has also been days since he last had a drink. He figured he better attempt to ration the money he had, not knowing how long he would be surviving in this time. Though he has no qualms against stealing to eat. Gods know he's done it before. He was a pirate for three centuries, after all. But if he were being honest, the last thing he wanted, was to be caught picking a pocket, and getting sent to this lands awful equivalent of a brig. He can still taste the artificial and gritty taste of the bologna from the last time. He shuddered, and pushed open the door to the pub. He approached the bar, with no thought but to get a bottle of rum to nurse from the back corner, and that's exactly what he did.

He was quite content to do so as well, until the door opened and in she walked, Neal holding the door for her, his eyes scanning over her hungrily, her laughing at something he said. God she looked so young and unguarded, then he remembered why she was so guarded in the future, and he's whispering in her ear, and buying them drinks even though he damn well knows she's underage.

Killian knows he's staring, but can't bring himself to look away, even as he polishes off the bottle and orders another. He can't take his eyes off of her. Neal says something to her, and she laughs. A full bodied laugh. Killian pours another drink. He looks into the amber liquid, trying to ignore the couple at the bar. After finishing the second bottle he feels the tingling warmth of intoxication, and knows he needs to leave before he does something he'll regret.

He gathers his jacket draping it over his left arm and gets up to leave. As he approaches the bar to pay, he pulls out a couple of twenties. He's not paying attention and is brought up short when gentle hands are on his shoulder, and Emma Swan slips onto the stool beside her.

"Hey bad boy, buy a girl a drink?" she asks flashing him an award winning smile. One he's never been able to resist, one that promises mischief.

He shakes himself out of her gaze, and hands the cash to the bartender, "Sorry luv, just heading out." He smiles at her, even to him it feels strained, "Maybe next time."

She pouts, as he tries to turn to leave, she jumps from the stool, effectively blocking his exit, she's too close, she fills all of his senses, leaning in close, "Just one?" she pleads, hands going to his arms.

"Sorry luv." He says trying to get around her. Ignoring the warm tingles left where her hands gently move up his forearms.

Somehow she gets closer. Her pout getting deeper, "Don't leave a girl hanging." She whispers, lifting on her toes, fingers tangling in his shirt, he knows what she's doing. Trying to distract him, probably to snag his wallet, but he can't resist her draw. Her eyes dart to his lips, "Something tells me, that's not something you often do," she said in a husky voice, suddenly she pulls him down into a searing kiss. Instantly all of the air flees his lungs, his eyes drift shut, arms going around her instinctively.

Then he feels her hand dip into his back pocket, and breaks from her, his brain snapping back to reality. Not only that, but he can't help but show off, as she slips his wallet from his pants pocket, his right hand slips into her jacket, fingers catching the ring of her keys, and lifted them seamlessly out of the pocket, "Not so fast luv." He says smugly, dangling the keys in front of her, her shocked expression not lost on him, "never try to steal from a thief." He whispers, taking his wallet, from her, and pressing the keys into her hand, before slipping past her.

He pats Neal on the shoulder as he passes, "Nice catch you got yourself, needs work in the theft department." He informs him before getting out of the bar into the night.

Glancing back, he sees Emma return to Neal, looking flushed and embarrassed. Like the first time she kissed him in Neverland, a slightly dazed look hovered in her eyes.

He presses his fingers to his lips, closing his eyes thinking of the Emma he knew, the one back in Storybrooke, he wondered if they knew he was gone yet. A part of him hoped she hadn't that they wouldn't, that he would find his way back before then. If he ever made it back at all, that is. The door closes behind him, leaving him once more out on the street. The ghost of Emma Swan sealed securely beyond the scratched glass pane of the peeling door, behind him.

He turns away, moving away from the bar, knowing in his mind, that there was no way he was coming out of this clean if he had many more encounters like that.

Emma Swan was making it very hard to ignore her, he thought.

~~Swan~~

As Killian walked away, he didn't notice the man who exited just after him, blue eyes flashing with triumph. August Booth smirked, he found her. His smirk swept down into a frown, as he thought of the man she was with. He had a suspicion, that Neal Cassidy would keep Emma away from her destiny. That while he was around, she wouldn't break the curse.

All he needed to do, was find out who Neal Cassidy was, and then he could use it to keep him away. Something told him that Neal wouldn't want to be around when the curse broke. He just needed to figure out why.

~~Swan~~

"You okay?" Neal asked, leaning over, "You've been pretty quiet for a while," he looked concerned, but Emma shrugged it off. They just met. He couldn't possibly be concerned about what she's feeling. Besides, how was she going to tell him?

'oh hey, it's nothing. I'm just obsessing over a kiss with a stranger, one that wasn't even supposed to mean anything, but really meant a lot…' the stranger. She couldn't shake the familiar look in his eyes, the way he seemed to stare into her soul. Then there was that kiss. She wouldn't usually admit it, but that kiss had shattered her. She had lost control spectacularly. She had gone in, only planning on kissing him to snag the wallet. Damn, she didn't even walk away with the cash, he'd made a fool of her. So why couldn't she stop thinking of the salty rum taste of his lips? The deep blue of his eyes? God, the timber of his voice as he spoke to her, such a small string of words, but his voice, mixed with that accent.

She cast a glance at Neal. She liked him okay, but she really didn't know him either. He was as much a stranger to her, as was the man in the leather. At least this one knew her name. Not only that, she knew his, and he was so sweet. "I'm fine." She said, glancing back down into her coke. Despite him offering, she wanted her wits about her, at least till she knew more about who Neal Cassidy was. She might be willing to take some chances, but she wasn't an idiot.

Neal shrugged, "Okay, if you say so," he said taking a drink of his Jack and Coke (It seemed that he had no such qualms as hers to getting inebriated) She tried to ignore the twist she got, when he accepted her lie at face value. She always got that way, when she lied to someone. It was like her superpower was kicking back at her, telling her to speak the truth. Sometimes she hated that little trick

The conversation went on, and her lie was forgotten. Neal rested his elbows on the table, "So, Tell me, Emma. How did Emma Swan get into the life of crime?" he asked, leaning back in his chair, brown eyes twinkling with curiosity.

Emma laughed, a soft sound, even to her ears. What the hell? What was happening to her? First blue eyes and leather gets under her skin. Now? Now she's laughing at jokes that weren't spoken like a common high schooler. She was turning into an idiot! One of the girls she cringes at, when she sees them at the mall. She shakes her head, and decides that she'll keep one part of her a mystery a little longer, besides, she's certain that already, he knows her better than she knows him. She takes her chance. "that's rather personal. And when I don't even know how you got yourself into the life."

Neal chuckles, "Alright, how bout this," He starts, "We do a little, quid pro quo? You tell me one thing about you, and I'll follow up with something about me?" He asks.

Emma lifted a brow, "Okay. Quid pro quo, Clarice." She joked, using her best Anthony Hopkins impression.

Neal let out a full bodied laugh, and Emma blushed.

"Alright, it wasn't that funny. Ask your question." She said, waving a single hand at him, the other holding her glass.

"Okay, here goes," He started, "How old were you, when you stole your first thing?" he asked.

Emma thought for a minute, "I was about, five? I think? Yeah, I was five, and it was a candy bar." She told him.

He gave her a look of mock horror, "You were still stealing, when you were a baby? My god, you little criminal mastermind you. Did you get caught?"

Emma shook her head, "Now that's two, and I believe we agreed to a, quid pro quo? So, Mr. Cassidy. It's my turn." She started, "How old were you, when you first got caught with your hand in the proverbial cookie jar?" she asked, leaning in close over the table, "Inquiring minds must know."

Neal gave her a smirk, tipping his glass to her, "I was fourteen, and this little girl, she caught me stealing some food from their table. But, she never did turn me in." He told her thinking carefully. Then he set off, asking her when she left the foster system.

It went like that for some time, shooting back and forth questions, about their lives BB (Before Bug) until the sun sunk below the scratched glass windows, and the artificial lighting in the bar came on. Even then the night didn't end. The couple walked in the park not far from the bar they had been in, talking. Slowly getting to know each other. Emma would be the last to admit that there was something there. Growing up in the foster system, taught her to be wary of other people, as nice as they may seem. Yet Neal seemed to be working his way under her armor. Then there was the fact that they came from the same sort of background. The only difference being that he actually knew who his parents were. His mother died, and his father was a bastard. For all she knew that was what her family was too.

"What's on your mind?" Neal asked softly.

Emma glanced up at him, "I'm just thinking, I've never met someone that was so much like me before." She said, gently tugging him to a stop, "I was thinking, that nobody has ever understood before."

Neal smiled, his eyes crinkling, "Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing." He took her hands in his, "I was also thinking, that I never thought the person that would understand, would be quite so beautiful."

Emma blushed, "Gee, sure know how to make me blush, don't you?" she chuckled, taking her hand back so she could tuck her hair behind her ear.

"Emma?" he asked softly.

She looked back to his eyes, and saw that they were focused on her lips, "Yeah?"

His eyes darted up to her eyes, then back to her lips. Then in question, he tugged her closer, and leaned in, pausing momentarily, giving her the chance to back away.

Emma's mind raced. He was going to kiss her. She wondered what it would be like. She wondered if it would be like the stranger. She mentally shook herself. No. She was about to kiss this guy. This guy, who was so much like her. This guy that understood her. She firmly pressed the blue eyed stranger out of her mind, as Neal leaned in, his lips brushing hers softly.

The contact was soft, sweet, and very brief. But with it, Emma knew. Knew that whatever this was? It was going to be worth it, in the end.

 **Please review!**

 **Captain Swan Kisses for all of my lovely reader**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N Hey guys! I know it's another late chapter, but hey, next week is the premier... also... CS ENGAGEMENT!**

 **Special thanks to: A True Oncer, Anonymous Author, and** **Nouqueret (alos, in response to your review. Neal didn't recognise Hook, because at that point he was in denial, and refused to accept magic could be in the WWM so a split second of a glimpse of a guy who looked like his mom's ex) for reviewing, and all you wonderful folks who added this story to your alerts list**

 **disclaimer: I own nothing**

It's almost a month, and Killian thinks he might be clear, he hasn't seen Emma since the incident at the bar, and is almost glad. He knows if he sees her too much, he won't be able to stop himself getting involved. These are his thoughts as he's leaving a small convenience store, and they walk past him, Emma's stomach swollen out in a recognizable bump, but that couldn't be Henry. It was too soon! He just saw her a month ago! It's not that fast…

He tells himself not to get involved, doesn't need her recognizing him in the future. That's what he tells himself, until he hears screaming, and Neal assuring her it would be alright.

He looks back at them, in time to see Emma untie something from her neck and her belly disappears. Becoming a bag, as they get into the bug. He watches till Neal leans in and kisses her from across the seat, and turns away, unable to help the surge of jealousy and heartbreak that rolls through him at the sight.

~~Swan~~

Over a month of research, and August has it. It took a lot of legwork, and a lot of money (most of it stolen) He discovered the truth about Neal Cassidy.

Rumpelstiltskin. It was a story back home, that the fearsome imp had lost a child. A child named Baelfire. A child that fell through a portal, never to be seen again. Then of course came the struggle of linking Neal to the elusive Baelfire. This was difficult, but he figured it out. A boy in a sketch. A meeting with two boys named John and Michael. They were brothers, and they had a sketch passed down generations, of a boy named Baelfire, that matched with the earliest picture of Neal Cassidy in the Foster system.

Armed with his new knowledge, August set out in search of his mark.

~~Swan~~

He wishes he could stay away, and he tries, but everywhere he turns, she's there. This morning the coffee shop, dressed in a black and white dress, the black glasses that are so characteristic of the Emma in this time perched on her nose.

Now here, at a park, he's just watching the birds, trying to forget the one he wants to catch, when he hears her again.

"I got donuts!" she says, he stiffens, resisting the urge to turn. To watch her, and he can still hear her voice, but can't make out the rest. It's like a drug, he can't get enough of it, even if none of the words are directed to him. He wants to go to her, but as if trying to tell him why not Neal walks into view, Emma beside him.

Next he hears Neal, and despite himself he tunes in, wanting to know what sorts of things they might be talking of, "Third time this guy's just asking to get took!" Neal says, spinning to face Emma, "So I…I grabbed a couple of cases of watches, and hopped a train to Portland."

Killian busies himself, walking to a hot dog stand a little away, knowing he can't let Neal see him. What he just heard echoing in his brain triggering another memory from when Emma was telling him of her first great heartbreak, after he shared his.

Emma was being quiet. Too quiet, at first he thought he pushed too hard, that she was closing herself off from him. It sometimes happened when he asked her to tell him about her past.

When he's about to tell her not to worry she cleared her throat, wiping her eyes, and turning to look out over the glittering lights of Storybrooke below them. "It was great for a while, a couple of months at least… Then he found the flyer at the post office, a wanted poster with his face plastered on it."

Emma pulled her knees up to her chest, "That's when he told me about the watches, I went and got them for him. I was successful, got em, even got them back to the car. He took the watches, all but one of them, that one he put on my wrist, setting it, and telling me to meet him at a parking garage at nine."

Killian scooted up, and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close, she snuggled in before continuing. "Nine came and went, no Neal. When I tried calling him, was when the cop showed up. Said Neal set me up, left me holding stolen goods. I went to jail for eleven months, I had Henry while I was there, never even told Neal. Not that I ever really saw him again. Well till recently that is." She whispered.

He turns to look at them, sees how excited Emma is getting, that night her heart would break, and never be the same again. His eyes turn to Neal. The look in them, shows no intention of betrayal, but Hook knows better.

Killian storms away from the stand, tossing the hot dog he had purchased as he went, rage boiling inside of him, he can't ignore it now. He saw it with his own eyes.

It was still hours till it happened, but Killian knows how to deal with this, as much as it will break his heart to do so.

 **Please review**

 **Captain Swan Kisses to all of my wonderful readers**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N Hello my darlings! Here we are, the premier in a few short hours, and we finally reach the head of Killian's adventure in the past. In which he breaks his own heart, but protects Emma in every way possible.**

 **special thanks to: TheAnonymousAuthor, Oncer4Life11, A True Oncer, HogwartsDreamer113, and guest for reviewing! As well as all of you lovelies that added this story to their alert list!**

 **Disclaimer: If I owned this, we would have definite proof of coffee**

Night falls quickly, and Killian is on his way. His first task is to find that bastard August. He finds him strapping a box to the back of his bike, "Don't do it mate." He warns.

August looks up surprised, "Do what?" he asks innocently.

"Don't give me that," Killian growls, "Don't tell that man to leave her, there's another way."

August turns back to his bike, "A little late for that, our buddy Neal is probably calling the cops as we speak." He informs the pirate.

"No!" Killian hisses, grabbing the other man, "Where is he? Which way did he go?"

August doesn't even flinch, "What does it even matter to you?"

Killian tosses August back, crashing into his bike, "More than it does to you. All you care about is your curse. To you she's just a savior."

"I'm just trying to protect Emma!" August defends.

Killian turns his back on him, "No mate, you're protecting your curse breaker. I'm protecting Emma. I'm saving her heart." He says walking away, figuring he still has time to get to Neal before he calls.

He finds Neal in a park, standing in front of a payphone, coins raised, hesitant. Killian walks and stands by a tree, watching. Neal runs a hand through his hair, before rubbing both down his face, and Killian thinks he's crying. Then Neal takes a breath and starts to drop the coins in.

"Stop." Killian says.

Neal freezes, turning to face the pirate, a look of fear crossing his features, "What?"

Killian steps out to the clearer view of the street lamp, "Don't make that call." He warns, "It'll be the biggest mistake of your life."

"How do you know? Do I know you?"

Killian continues closer, "Cut the crap Baelfire, We both know that you do."

Neal looks even more fearful, but straightens, "Why shouldn't I make that call? Don't you want the curse broken? Like your buddy August?"

Killian shook his head, "I could care less, though something tells me fate will still bring her to Storybrooke when the time is right." He looks into Neal's eyes, "Question is will you let history repeat itself?"

Neal steps out of the booth, and starts towards Killian, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's simple, I'm from the future." He starts.

Neal laughs, "What is this? Back to the future?" Neal throws up his hands with a laugh, "Okay Marty McFly, next are you going to tell me I have to go punch you and become her hero?"

"I don't quite understand what that means, but we'll get back to that." Killian states, "Just don't make that call, go to that parking structure, find Tallahassee, just don't make that call, I've seen what it does to her heart."

Neal turns away, "I'm giving her, her best chance." He says, "I'm letting her fulfill her destiny."

Killian lets out a barking laugh, "was that you? Or was that the cocky puppet talking?"

Neal ignores him. Turning back to the payphone.

"I love her." Killian whispers, "In the future, I love her. It took so long to get her heart to open up, she was broken when I met her. That call destroys Emma Swan the way she is."

"Maybe that's what makes the savior." Neal reasons.

Killian storms at him, his hook latching into the door of the payphone, holding it shut, "No, that's what breaks her heart, you are her first true love. When you broke her heart, it never healed, even now, she fears the future, is afraid to open her heart to love again."

Neal looks conflicted.

Realization dawns on Killian, "This isn't about Emma, is it? It's your fear, your fear of your father. You're afraid if you don't leave her, let her go, you'll have to face Rumplestiltskin."

"Yeah, that's part of it…" Neal admits.

"Well stuff it!" Killian shouts, "I can't let you break her heart. You can't let August get to you, save her heart."

"I don't get it." Neal says, "The way you talk in the future, you and Emma are…"

"Aye, we are." He says softly, thinking of all the times he thought she was about to say it.

"Then why? Why keep her with me?"

Killian looks away, having asked himself the same question so many times throughout this damn day, "I can't watch her break, not again. Not like the last times."

Neal, is silent, and Killian pulls his hook from the door, and gives Neal a defeated look as the man pushes into the booth.

"Like father, like son." He growls.

Neal freezes. "I'm nothing like my father." He says, as he drops the coins into the slot.

"If you go through with that call you make the same mistake. The same mistake the Crocodile did, and the same one his father made." Killian promises, "You go through with that, you abandon your son."

Killian turns away, hoping his message hits home.

"Hook, wait."

Killian stops, "What."

"Emma's pregnant?" he asks. Killian can hear the hitch in his voice.

"Aye, and if you make that call, she gives that baby up." Killian tells him, "He's a brilliant boy, by the way."

"How do you know?"

Killian turns back, Neal is standing in the middle of the path. "I've met him. In fact, I've grown rather close to the lad."

"Henry, I don't understand? What are we doing?" Killian asked, eyeing the boy wandering the living room a camera in his hands.

"We're making mom a video." Henry replied, "to make her feel better!" Emma had gotten sick the night before, and had instantly quarantined herself. Henry had taken it upon himself to make her feel better, called it "Operation Chicken Noodle" for some odd reason, Killian hadn't even asked about.

"I don't understand, lad. How is making a fool of one's self on tape supposed to make Swan feel better?"

Henry grinned, "Trust me, it will." He promised, "Now, just say, get better Emma. Got it Killian?"

"Right." Killian cleared his throat, and Henry came up beside him, holding the camera so it would capture both of their faces, "Get better soon Swan."

"Get better soon mom!" Henry said at the same time, "shh… don't tell Killian, I've been filming the whole time!" he announced.

"Hey!" Killian complained, "Not fair lad."

"Love you mom, get better soon."

"I've almost come to see him like a son of my own." He admits, thinking of the smiles Henry shoots him, when they go get ice cream, even when Regina, or Emma say no.

"I'm going to be a father?"

"Not if you make that call."

"Then I won't." Neal promises.

"Go get your Swan, Mate." Killian walks away, not able to even think of looking back at his own love unraveling because of his actions, he knows that he can't.

Just to be sure, Killian walks to the parking structure by the tracks, and watches from the shadows, as Neal comes up behind Emma, putting his hands over her eyes, and whispering something in her ear, and she cracks a grin, spinning in his arms to kiss him.

Killian turns away, his heart breaking.

When he turns he sees the swirling light, and just like last time a strong wind pulls him towards it, but this time he doesn't fight, and lets it pull him under.

 **please review**

 **CS kisses to all of my lovely readers until next time! Allons-y!**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N Happy Once day shipmates! Okay so this week we get to see the ramifications of what Killian did in the past. This part was actually pretty fun to write. If by fun you mean really hard and made me want to cry because of what I've done... Enjoy!**

 **special thanks to: Jadedgurl05, HogwartsDreamer113, A True Oncer, oncer4life, and guests for reviewing and to all of you lovelies that added this story to your alerts. P.S. Guest from last chapter... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry**

 **disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing I tell you, nothing!**

 **Chapter 5**

Unlike last time, he doesn't come to with the smell of trash, and the sound of city, instead, it's the smell of a small diner he knows well, and surrounded by people he knows well too. Mary Margaret holding the baby stands with David, Regina, Henry, Robin, Zelena, Leroy, and Neal. Wait, Zelena and Neal? Why were they dressed like that? They looked like they had just stepped out of the enchanted forest, all of them had confused looks in their eyes.

The door swings open, Sneezy runs in, with Sleepy on his tail "What the hell are you guys doing here?"

"What happened?" Mary Margaret asks.

"We're back." David whispers.

"Bloody hell." Killian says, it's clear that there was another curse while he was away, and somehow, he kept Neal from dying, but that can wait.

"This doesn't make any sense." Regina muses, walking through the diner, her eyes slide over him, a question in them, "We were just walking into Camelot."

"What the hell are we wearing? Sneezy, how long were we gone?" Leroy asks, the question Killian wants to know the answer to still going unasked, with no gap to ask it.

"Six weeks." The dwarf responds.

"what?" Regina gasps.

"Our memories, they're gone."

Mary Margaret looks as though she's fighting off tears, and Killian can see why, the woman has lost her memories so many times.

Neal, who has remained silent the entire time finally speaks up. "Where's Emma?" he asks, and Killian sees the fear in his eyes. He's about to ask what it's of, when there's a whoosh of magic from the other end of the diner.

"Relax." Emma says, Killian turns to look at her, and his heart freezes in his chest, "I'm right here."

Her soft golden hair is pulled tightly up to her skull, twined into a bun in the back, the golden color faded to the shade of snow, she's dressed in tight leather, but what stops him is her eyes. They scan over her friends, her family with a cold calculation, everything about her seems cold and distant.

"Mom." Henry sounds confused, but there's a twinge of disappointment in his voice, and Killian feels the urge to place a hand on the boy's shoulder, but figures against it, still unsure how much his actions have altered the present, but judging by Emma, he changed a lot. "What happened?" Henry asks.

"Isn't it obvious?" Emma tilts her head in Henry's direction, her eyes losing a small touch of their coldness as they rest on the boy, before she looks up, staring into the eyes of everyone there in turn, and Jumping over Killian, much to his despair. Then they lock on Mary Margaret, and she stalks forward, "You went to Camelot to get the darkness out of me," she stops before her mother, reaching up to caress her cheek, Killian can see the flinch she gets from Emma's touch, "and you failed." She whispers into her mother's face.

Killian's heart is pounding, what had he done? He stopped Neal to save her heart, now it appeared to have darkened it.

A sneeze sounds, breaking the silence left by Emma's announcement.

Emma whirls, her eyes setting on the sneezing dwarf in a familiar looking jacket, "What the hell are you supposed to be?" she demands, stalking towards the dwarf, she looks down on him, he starts to sneeze again, but she raises a hand and the dwarf turns to stone, "There's no savior in this town anymore." She says.

Killian wants to shout, tell her this isn't who she is. He wants Neal to say something, anyone. He can't bear to see this, he wants more of that magic, go back, make Neal leave her, see if it brightens her heart.

Finally, Regina grants his wish, moving to block the path of Emma, "Emma, stop, that's enough." She says sternly.

Emma merely raises an eyebrow at the demand, "Or what?"

"Or I'll do exactly what you asked me too." Regina says, reaching up, and patting at her bodice, looking for something.

Emma looks on amused, before whipping out the Dark One dagger, and holding it level with Regina's throat. Killian feels a wave of nausea at the sight of her name etched on that blade, where Rumplestilitskin's name should be. "Looking for this?" she questions, "Nobody's going to touch this dagger but me." She promises.

Killian doesn't understand… how could one change, as small as keeping a heartbreak from happening, cause this? He is pulled back to reality, from his frantic thoughts as Emma slips past a stone faced Regina, coming to stand in front of Neal, "and now, for what you all did to me." She says turning to look back at the rest, as though cutting Neal, Henry and Killian behind them from the 'you all' "You're about to be punished."

"Emma…" Killian says softly, her eyes dart to him for only a moment.

"Why are you doing this?" Neal pleads, his stance showing his heartbreak at what is happening.

Emma turns back to him, "Because…" She says softly, "I'm The Dark One." Her face remains stony and cold throughout the encounter, then black smoke billows around her feet, moving up her body, till she disappears completely.

Regina has her eyes trained to the back of the diner, at first Killian thinks she's glaring at Neal, for some reason he doesn't know, "Where the hell have you been." She demands quietly instead. Her gaze boring into him where he stands.

Killian surprises them all, by letting out a quick hoarse laugh, "As if that even matters right now!" he waves his hand around him, "You lot, let Emma become the Dark One, and it's my fault? I come back, everything has fallen to bits. I hardly think it matters where I've been. I think our efforts should be put towards fixing her."

"Well, you did show back up, the exact moment we did." David says, "You also seem different."

Killian gives him a confused look, "Different? How so?"

Mary Margaret eyes him a moment, "Usually you would've teamed up with the nearest villain by now." She tells him, as though he hadn't changed at all in the three years he's known her.

"You're also thinking about someone but yourself." Regina adds.

Killian feels his heart fall. The him in this timeline, didn't have the same influence from Emma he did, so he remained cold and aloof. He was still a bad guy.

Neal turns to look at him, an odd understanding dawning on his face, "Maybe he grew up, in his time away." He says, by way of defending the pirate, "But I fully agree with him, we should be focused on Emma, not the appearance of a new and improved Hook."

David glared at Killian, and the pirate felt a sort of nostalgia for the almost friendship he and David had built, it was as much of one, you could get with your girlfriend's father, but it was a start. "If he has changed, and this isn't an act."

"I assure you David, this is not an act." He comes in close, leaning into David's face, "I'm only concerned about the wellbeing of my home, clearly." He says, pushing past the father of his love, sending a cool glance at Neal as he passes.

Neal reaches out, a hand sitting on his shoulder, "Hook."

"Get your hand off of me. I trusted you with something." He growls, putting emphasis on 'Trusted' "Yet here we are." Killian shrugs Neal off, and walks out the door, nobody stops him.

He walks down the street, counting the differences in the town, he left so long ago. There's not many, but he sees them. The largest is when he reaches the marina. The Jolly Roger floats, looking as though not a soul has set foot on her deck in months. He supposes if he has been gone for that long, it would make sense.

His only intention is to board the ship, but is brought to a halt, by movement on the deck. He walks up the plank, stepping carefully over the lip and onto his ship.

"What brought you back?" It is a softly spoken question, but he feels shards of ice, slicing through them.

"I don't know, Swan." He replies, unable to look in her direction. "I sort of assumed it was you, thought you might've missed me."

"You won't look at me." She states, she doesn't sound hurt, just intrigued, "You say Swan, as though it causes you pain, even your sarcasm seems forced." She appears in front of him, "Something has changed in you, I don't know what." She whispers in his ear.

His heart pounds in his ears, her close proximity, even though it sends off waves of ice, drives him crazy, he wants to grab her, hold her close, kiss her till it's not lipstick that makes her lips red. "Swan…" he whispers.

She smiles, "I'm sure it's nothing." She says dismissing him easily, "I have a proposition for you, Killian." She says.

"I'm not in the mood to make any deals with you." He informs her, as much as it pains him.

Emma looks surprised, "You don't even know what I want."

Killian forces a smile, as he turns back to her, "You're right, I don't. I also have no desire in finding out." He tells her truthfully, whatever she wants, it's not what the old Emma would want.

Emma quirks her head, "You will do, soon." She promises, and is gone in a cloud of the same smoke from Granny's.

Once he's alone, Killian walks to the stern of his ship, and looks out at the ocean, trying to ignore the tears that roll slowly down his face, mixing with the salt filled air around him.

 **Please review (again Guest I'm sorry)**

 **see you guys next week. Captain Swan kisses. Until next time allons-y!**


	7. Chapter 6

**Happy Once Day! here we go with chapter 6 and to the point where I tell you, that this story is coming to its close. We have one full chapter and an epilogue after this one. This has been a wonderful experience with you all. I only hope you'll tune in for the sequel that I'm going to be working on, titled "I'll Fight it For You" which will certainly be more CS than this one now here we go.**

 **special thanks to: A True Oncer, oncer4life11, HogwartsDreamer113, and jadedgurl05 for reviewing and of course to everyone who added this to their alerts list XOXO**

 **disclaimer: I own a print of Killy but not the show**

"It's you isn't it?" The question is posed to him, more like a statement, so he doesn't answer. "It's you, the Hook that stopped me in Portland."

Killian turns then, his eyes resting on Neal, who looks like shit, his hair sticking up in all directions, eyes bloodshot, hair rumpled. "Aye." Killian answers, turning back to face the ocean, "I'd ask how you were able to tell, but I've changed much, from the man they all remember me to be."

"What you said back then, you said you loved her…" Neal starts.

Killian turns again, eyebrows raised, "Aye, and I do."

"Then why stop me? I've been asking myself that for years. I just can't see it, I would never be able to do that." Neal says, trailing off into rambles about how he would never have let Emma go.

Killian sighs, "I saw the way she was, how happy she was. I couldn't take that from her. When I saw her like that, I remember her when we first met, when we climbed a beanstalk to get her back to her boy. I saw a broken woman, who had faced so much loss in her life, that she built so many walls around her heart, it took me three years to break through them, and even then if I said the wrong thing, I could see her trying to reconstruct them." Killian saw the sadness in Neal's eyes, as he thought of what he almost did to Emma. "When I caught you that night, about to make that call, I thought, maybe I can keep one of those walls from ever going up. I didn't think it would turn her dark."

Neal sucks in a breath, "Wait, you think…"

Killian interrupts him, "You were her first love." He informs Neal, "I thought if I could trust anyone to keep her in the light it would be you." He storms at Neal, suddenly their slight height difference seeming much larger, "I trusted you with her heart!" his hook pressed into Neal's chest, "I Trusted you, and now Emma's the Dark One. Do you think maybe it's you? That maybe you are the reason everyone around you turns to darkness? First your mother, by running away with a pirate, then your father killing the Dark One, now Emma! I think that's one too many for it to be coincidence. Perhaps someone should get Henry away from you, before you make his heart dark as well."

Neal, brushes Killian off, "Don't you dare." He shouts, his own anger boiling more violently than Killian would have expected, "You think this is my fault? You don't even know what happened! Emma was saving, everyone! My father released the darkness, and she took it, to keep it from swallowing up everyone, starting with Regina!" It's Neal's turn to reach up and poke his chest, "I would give anything to keep Emma from being the Dark One! Problem is, I can't!"

A thought comes to Killian, his hand flashing up, catching hold of Neal's shoulder, "Maybe we can." He whispers, when he thinks about it, in this reality, there was no need for The Crocodile to use his bottled time spell. It would still be in his shop.

"Tell me." Killian starts, "Did Zelena succeed in casting her time spell?"

Neal looks confused, "What? Yeah, she did. Why does that matter? Me and Emma got sent back, had to make a deal with my father to get back here." Neal says.

Killian attempts to hide the disappointment he feels at the fact that Neal had taken his place during the time travel trip. Instead scratching the back of his neck, looking at Neal, "You know what that means right?"

Neal shakes his head, "No I do not know what that means. Why Does it matter if that spell was cast?" Neal looks on in confusion, "Get to the point."

Killian feels a grin spread across his lips, "Because, magic that powerful, doesn't just fade away, it lingers. I know, because that's how your father sent me back to Portland. It should still be in his shop."

"A Time spell? That's your fix? What does that fix?" Neal demands, "Or is it because you can't stand the thought that Emma doesn't love you."

Killian fights the urge to slug the man in front of him, biting his lip. "As you can see. While that is hard for me." He starts, thinking carefully before he continues, trying to keep his anger in check. "That's not what I suggest, we need only go back far enough to stop the darkness from taking root."

Neal shakes his head, "In your future, Emma, she's still got light in her heart?"

Killian nods, "Aye, she does, and shows no sign of ever giving in to darkness, as much as your father tries."

Neal looks up, "What? My father's trying to turn Emma dark?"

Killian bites his lip, "I really shouldn't say anything about it. I mean if he didn't try it here…"

Neal shakes his head, "No, he came to us, when he realized the Darkness was about to completely swallow his heart, and Em, being the damn hero she is, found a way to pull the darkness out of him, and when she tried to put it in the hat, it got free. Started to go after Regina, when Emma found out. She took the dagger." Neal cringed at the memory, "she plunged it into the darkness, and it just wrapped around her, like some sort of evil storm."

Killian ignored the way the familiar nausea he had felt since seeing that dagger swam in his stomach, "No, where I am, he hasn't been quite the man to do that, since…" Killian froze, not wanting to tell Neal he died.

"Since what?" Neal asks.

Killian shakes his head, "It doesn't matter." He turns away, "What does matter, is that we get the darkness out of Emma."

Neal wants to press, but gets the feeling that the pirate doesn't want to talk about it. "Where is the spell?"

"Not entirely sure, all I know is that it's somewhere in his shop, probably in the vault behind the counter." The Pirate responds.

"Then we should go get it." Neal says softly, his anger from earlier forgotten, replaced by a sinking sense that he was going to have to go break Emma's heart.

"Aye, Bae. We should." Killian responds, before taking off down the gangplank.

~~Swan~~

When the pair reach the Pawn Shop, Neal picks the lock, letting them inside, and Killian goes straight to the safe in the back.

Neal is behind him, as the pirate unlocks it with practiced movements. "Not your first rodeo?"

Killian smirks, "I've seen it opened enough. I can remember how they open it." He says, as the safe opens, and he sees the glowing vial he last saw when Rumplestiltskin opened the top, and used his magic to throw him in.

"Is it there?"

Killian swallows, hearing the Crocodile's words in his head 'villains don't get happy endings Dearie. You, pirate, are no exception' His fingers wrap around the vial, "Aye, it is."

Neal eyes the vial, "That's it?" He looks at Killian, "So how do we do it?"

Killian sets the vial on the counter, and scratches behind his ear thoughtfully, "Truthfully? I have no clue."

"Then we ask the one person that knows." Neal says, snatching up the vial.

Killian's eyes narrow, "You can't possibly mean."

Neal nodded, "All we need to do, is wake my father up."

"Of course we do." Killian griped. "It always seems to come down to the one man that I can't abide, being my only chance."

"You might have another." Regina said, stepping out. "I'll admit. When you defended Captain Guyliner here, I never thought you two would team up and rob your father's shop." She said, "What is that anyway?"

Killian swallowed, "Well… it's ah, ummm…"

Neal cleared his throat, "It's the remnants of Zelena's time travel curse."

Regina's eyes widen slightly, "What? How is that going to help us? Are we going to go back and stop Emma from doing stupid things, and saving my life?"

Killian cleared his throat, "We're going to go back, and fix what should never have happened. And stop Emma from ever becoming the Dark One in the first place."

Regina laughed, "And how do you plan on doing that?"

Neal looked down, "By fixing what Hook changed."

"What Hook changed?" Regina questioned.

Killian nodded, "Aye… it appears that you were right when you sensed something different about me majesty. Because I am not the same Killian Jones I was when last you saw me."

"Because he's a…"

"Time traveling pirate." Regina said in awe. "What did you change?"

Neal scratched the back of his neck, "He stopped me from making a mistake in two-thousand-and-one." He said.

At the same moment Killian said, "I stopped him from breaking Emma's heart."

Regina looked shocked, "Well… I didn't see that coming."

Neal nodded, "Yeah."

Killian was curious about something, "Wait… Regina… Henry? What is your relationship with the boy?"

Regina gave him a confused glare, "Is that really necessary?"

"Yes." Hook told her, "Humor me."

"He's the sheriff's kid. I like him alright, he's a good kid." She said, shrugging, "What does it matter?"

Killian smirks, "You kept him" he said softly to Neal.

"Of course I did! He's my kid."

"Aye, that he is."

"I'm still not clear…" Regina started, "What is the plan with the spell? And which of you, bozos are going to go back?"

"I am!" they both said.

"We are." Killian tells her.

"We're going to break Emma's heart." Neal stated, "We're going to stop the darkness from ever touching her."

"Then you've got an ally." She said, "Considering you need someone to use that magic."

Neal was quiet for a moment. "There's something else we need."

Killian looked at him, "What?"

Neal rubbed his face, "Past me. He's going to need convincing to leave Emma."

The truth of the statement struck Killian hard, "Aye, even past me would need serious convincing."

"Well, what do you need?"

Neal smirked as he thought for a moment, "We need to go have a chat with Emma."

Killian looked at him in shock, "What?"

"And by we, I mean me and Regina. You're going to break in the back, and steal her dagger." Neal says.

"Do you honestly think that will work?"

Hook nodded, "Aye, it will. Emma would never expect it. She believes I'm still the Hook that this time created, not the one that will do anything for her."

"Then there's no time to waste." Regina said, "I'll get a locator spell, and we'll find out where our miss Swan is hiding."

~~Swan~~

The locator spell, led to a large manor home in the woods, a small pond with a white swan swimming in it set off to the side of the path that led up to the front door.

As Neal and Regina came to the front step, the door swung open, and a rather annoyed Emma stood there. She was still wearing her dark leather suit, her hair pulled much too tightly to her scalp.

"What do you want?" she snapped, "And why did you bring her?"

Neal pressed his lips together in a thin line, "You know why I'm here Emms." He said softly, layering as much into that short sentence as he could, "I love you, and I'm not going to stop fighting for that."

"Then why is she here?" Emma asked, tilting her head to the side, "If you wanted a rendezvous, why bring an audience?" She stepped down the steps, standing before Neal "I'll admit, you're one of the only people I don't hate right now." She whispered.

"Why are you doing this Emm?" he asked, "And don't tell me, it because you're the goddamned Dark One." He growled, his hands grabbing at hers.

Emma pulled away, "It's because, I'm the Dark One, and that opened my eyes to how they truly feel." She told him, "They don't care about me." Her eyes cut to Regina, filled with contempt, "I'm the life ruiner. The Savior. The Dark One. Nobody sees me as Emma."

"I do." Neal whispered, "I've only ever seen Emma. Henry has only ever seen Emma."

Emma gave him a look that was almost hurt, "That's why, I can't understand why you would betray me." She said, "You didn't think I knew what you were planning?" she sneered, "Did you honestly think I wouldn't know? The only thing I don't understand…" she started, waving her hand. In a flash of smoke, that swirled from the ground up, Killian appeared. His hand outstretched as though he was reaching for something. His eyes widened in shock, "What I don't understand, is how you convinced him to help. The stubborn pirate wouldn't even help me." She moved to him, running a hand over his shoulder.

Killian cringed under her touch, "Tell me, Hook. What made you become a hero?" she questioned, her palm coming to rest on his chest, her cold eyes focused on his face. She searched his eyes, looking for some reason.

He bit the inside of his cheek. "Don't you know, Emma?" he asked, reaching up, his hand resting on her cheek. A shocking show of tenderness, "It was you." He told her, the truth coming out pained, as his hand drifted down in a soft caress.

A flash of confusion crossed her eyes, "How? We haven't spent more than a moment, since the beanstalk."

His heart leapt, one thing the same. "Because. I've wanted nothing more than to be someone you could trust. You changed me, and that's what I intend to help you do. No matter how much it kills me." His hand left her cheek, and reached into his jacket, "Emma Swan." He said, feeling guilt bubble in his throat. "Dark one." His voice cracked, as he pulled out the ornate dagger, "I command you to stand down, and let us go."

Emma recoiled, looking as though she was slapped, she took a shocked step back. Then her emotionless mask snapped back into place, and she sneered. "As you wish." She growled, then raised her hand, the smoke pooling at her feet before reaching up to swallow her whole.

Neal looked back and forth, between the pirate and the spot where Emma had disappeared. "How? How did you get it, before she caught you?" He asked.

Regina scoffed, "It doesn't matter. Let's just get you back, so you can fix, what captain Guyliner here broke."

Neal and Killian shared a glance, "You mean, break what he fixed." Neal said softly.

Regina rolled her eyes. And reached into her pocket and pulled out the vial. "It doesn't matter, let's just get this done." She sighed, as she closed her eyes, and the vial floated before her, and the portal began to form before them.

 **See you next week just to hold you off, here's a teaser**

He thought of all those moments he and Emma shared, him helping Henry with his first steps. Taking them to Navy Pier on vacation when Henry was six. Their little house in Tallahassee, dancing with Emma at their wedding. Hearing their son's first words "Dada" reading the little boy bedtime stories. Holding Emma's hand as she gave birth. Holding her as they watched the sunset from the hood of the bug, Henry sleeping soundly between them. Kissing her in the rain, after a nasty fight, where Emma had almost left him, taking Henry with her. Finding an old beat up storybook in a bookstore, for their son, who was just turning ten.

 **please review.**

 **CS kisses to all of my lovelies until next time Allons-y!**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N Okay so I guess this is it. The final full chapter of It Hurts To See You and Him, but remember this is far from the end, next week you get a short epilogue which sets up for _I'll Fight It For You_ after will be about maybe a three or four week hiatus, because I want to have at least half of it written before I post it. Also for those of you who were interested I'm writing an A/U that branches from this story, about what happened in the timeline that Neal stayed, and it will be called _If I Never Leave_ I'll see you all a week from today! **

**disclaimer: I own a foam dark one dagger I made myself, but not the show**

Killian and Neal shared a look, Killian had the dagger tucked back into his coat. Neal nodded at the pirate. Then taking twin breaths, the two men stepped into the swirling maelstrom. The magic swirled around them, filling all of their senses. Then just as the first two times Killian had been through them within the past few trips, it was gone suddenly.

Neal stumbled, "Jesus Christ!" he gasped, "That was a trip."

Killian chuckled, "Aye, first time, I ended up in a pile of trash." He glanced at his companion, the night air cool, as an owl hooted nearby. "It was certainly smoother when Zelena cast it." he said, "Come, I believe this is the correct night. So we have to hurry." He said, starting forward without waiting for a response.

Neal hesitated for a moment. He thought of all those moments he and Emma shared, him helping Henry with his first steps. Taking them to Navy Pier on vacation when Henry was six. Their little house in Tallahassee, dancing with Emma at their wedding. Hearing their son's first words "Dada" reading the little boy bedtime stories. Holding Emma's hand as she gave birth. Holding her as they watched the sunset from the hood of the bug, Henry sleeping soundly between them. Kissing her in the rain, after a nasty fight, where Emma had almost left him, taking Henry with her. Finding an old beat up storybook in a bookstore, for their son, who was just turning ten.

With one moment in time once changed, all of it would be gone. "Baelfire? Are you coming?" Hook asked, from where he stood at the corner, "I recognize this place."

Neal felt a scowl despite his efforts. Hook. While he lost everything, He would be getting everything. Then that night flashed through his mind. The darkness, swirling down towards Regina, and Emma coming up with an idea. Running forward before they could stop her, the dagger plunging into the inky blackness, as it switched its target, swirling around her, swallowing her. So with a cough he nodded, and followed Killian. He needed to save Emma. No matter how much it might kill him.

They followed the path Hook took on his first trip through. Spotting August finishing up packing his bike before he left. He paused, mouth open "What?" The puppet asked curiously. Both men ignored him, and carried on.

When they came to the phone booth, Killian and Neal both paused, neither wanting to see what came next happen. Neither wanted her heart to break. But both knew there was no other option. They had to keep Emma from filling her heart with darkness.

They saw past Neal pacing in front of the phone booth. Torn by indecision. Then he moved forward, stepped in, and held up the coins.

"Stop." Past Killian says in a stern voice.

Killian watches as Neal goes rigid. Fear radiating off of the man, as he responds quiet enough that the two men on the sidelines couldn't hear, thought they both knew what was said.

The past pirate steps into the light, looking menacing and angry, "Don't make that call." He warns in a low voice, that carries perfectly, "It'll be the biggest mistake of your life."

Neal scowls, clenching his fist at his side, "It would be easier to do it now." He growls, "Get it done with. It'll be easier."

Killian shook his head, "You and I both know it won't be. I was very angry here. We don't want me murdering you, because you turned her dark."

"I didn't!" Neal hissed.

A glance from pirate to thief, "He won't care. He'll see the name, and he'll attack. I may be reformed, but that doesn't mean the pirate is gone."

"Question is, will you let history repeat itself?" Past Killian was asking.

"So we wait till you guilt me into staying, then we guilt me into leaving?" Neal glared, "We're gonna give past me whiplash"

"What is this? Back to the future?" Neal throws up his hands with a laugh, "Okay Marty McFly, next are you going to tell me I have to go punch you and become her hero?"

"I still have no idea what that means." Killian admitted, "Though Emma said something similar when we took the time portal of Zelena's."

Neal huffed softly, "Doesn't surprise me. We used to love watching that movie together."

"In the future, I love her. It took so long to get her heart to open up, she was broken when I met her. That call destroys Emma Swan the way she is." He warns. Killian knew he was right. Knew that the Emma he knew, was not the Emma blindly trusting Neal Cassidy.

"Maybe that's what makes the savior." Past Neal reasons. Neal grits his teeth. Knowing that he had really believed that. But there was also that familiar tang of fear. Fear that his father would find him. That he would end up right back where he was when he was a boy. Firmly beneath his father's thumb. Though it had helped that Rumpelstiltskin hadn't known it was him, until he was about to yank Emma out of town, to try and find him.

That had been the source of one of the greatest fights he and Emma ever had. She had almost punched him right there, because he had kept that from her. Had never told her he knew about the magic, when he had encouraged her to listen to Henry, and find Storybrooke. The town their son was certain held all the secrets of her life.

"Like father, like son." He hears past Killian growl.

"That was a low blow." Neal said to Killian beside him.

Killian shakes his head, "I had no other option left. You denied me. I needed to convince you."

"I'm nothing like my father." The younger man said in a harsh voice, turning his back to the older pirate.

"Still. Really shitty move. Doubt you'd like me saying you were just like your dad." Neal reasoned, "Something tells me we have shitty father figures in common."

Killian gritted his teeth, thinking not for the first time in the past few months, that he would become like Brennan Jones. But he knew in his heart, he would never abandon Henry. Nor any child that he and Emma might ever have. "I fear I might already be becoming so." He said softly. "Brennan Jones was a criminal, and I am no better."

Neal surprised him by laughing a low laugh, that their past counterparts would not hear, "I'd say you must be. From the look on your face, Brennan Jones wouldn't be fighting so hard to get back to a woman. Or a kid that isn't his."

Killian sighed, "Considering I would never leave Henry in the binds of slavery to buy passage to escape my crimes. I would say, in that way, I am different from my father. But in all the rest, I can claim no innocence."

"You must have done something right though. If you got Emma to fall in love with you." Neal whispered, as he heard his past self to yell for Hook to wait, "I was a good father." He tells him, "Despite what I may have done. I was a good father for Henry. A good husband for Emma. I never hurt them."

Killian looked over to the other man, and saw how much he was hurting. "I'm sorry. I know. I could see it in your eyes, the way you shielded your son. I know. I'm sorry I have to take that away from you." He looked down in shame, "I'm sorry that I made you know what you could have had."

"I wouldn't change it." Neal said softly. "Even if I stop existing right now, because you change it. I wouldn't trade getting to love Emma Swan. Even if that stubborn woman wouldn't take my name when we got married. I wouldn't trade a second."

Killian looks him in the eye, before the moment is broken, by Neal calling after Killian below them, "Then I won't." Past Neal promises.

"Unfortunately." Killian said softly, as the other him called back, "You will make that call."

Neal closed the phone booth, and was starting to leave, when Neal called out to him. "Hey, Stop."

Past Neal froze. "Who's there?" he demanded.

"It's us, mate." Killian said as he and Neal stepped out into the light.

"Hook?" He asked, eyes darting down the road, "What the hell?" Then his eyes landed on the other Neal, "What the hell?" he asked again.

"Surprise." Neal said, shrugging his shoulders, "Listen man. I know what other Hook there said…"

"No!" They were both unsurprised by his anger.

"It's the only way. Things from when I'm from? Not good. Really not good." Neal reasoned with his past self, "And this?" he gestured between them, "Is the only way to protect Emma."

Past Neal cut to Hook, "He changed your mind pretty quick, huh? Five seconds ago, you were telling me not to."

Killian nodded, "Things change. I saw where the decision to lead, and it's not good."

"It was for a long time, thirteen years. It was good for thirteen years. But, something happened. Something happened to Emma." Neal corrected. "This is the only way to protect her." He said, ducking his head.

"Like hell. I'm not letting you talk me out of this. I'm not leaving Emma, and my son."

"You didn't care a moment ago." Killian stated, with a raised brow.

Neal glared at him, "Well, things change, _mate._ " He snapped, "I'm not abandoning my son."

"So you would rather her turn dark?" the older Neal questioned, "Because that's what happens. You stay, she goes dark."

Neal let out a laugh, "Yeah right." He glared at Killian "You did this. Decided that you couldn't live without her? So you thought, I'll just go back, and make sure she gets to be mine?"

Killian glared, "No. I wouldn't do that to Henry. Or Emma. They don't deserve what you need to do." He reached into his coat, hand closing around the hilt of the dagger, "But you know what? Emma doesn't deserve this either!" He snarled, whipping it out, letting it hang in the air between them. Emma's name clearly etched onto its surface.

Neal looked down, with a silent sorrow, as past Neal recoiled in fear, "No!" he gasped, his eyes focused on the dagger, then cut to Neal, then back to Killian, "This is a joke, right? Emma's not… Rumpelstiltskin, my father, he's the dark one. Not Emma."

"He is, if you make that call." Neal told him, forcing Killian's arm down, taking the dagger, which filled him with dread out of sight. "But if you don't. If you choose to go to Emma, you set her on the path to this." He gestured to the dagger that Killian held in a death grip.

"I guess August was right…" Neal whispered, "So, I leave Emma, she's okay?" This time it was aimed at Killian.

"Eventually. It takes her a long time to trust again. But she'll be fine, one day." He says truthfully, "When last I saw her, she was dancing beneath the stars. Her light shone so bright. I'm trying to reconcile that Emma with the one that we are here to save. I can't, there was no light in her eyes. She was not the woman either of us love."

Neal shook his head, "So I leave, she's happy? I stay, she's the dark one." He looked up at his future self, "Not much of a choice."

"Let her go. I'll protect her heart, once she lets me. I promise. Just let Emma go. Protect her heart."

"By breaking it."

Killian looked down, "Aye, but a broken heart can be healed, a darkened heart is dark forever." Killian wanted to reach out. Wanted to comfort the man in front of him, "I'm sorry." He turned to the Neal he had come with, "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry doesn't make this any easier," Neal growled, but he turned away from Killian and the older Neal and went to the phone again, and he dialed. He told the police where to find Emma. That she had one of the watches, and when he was done, he turned to speak to the two men who came to warn him, but they were gone. Just like when he woke alone in a world he didn't know all those years ago. Neal had lost everything.

~~CS~~

When Killian came to, he was laying on his back aboard the Jolly Roger He groaned, throwing an arm over his face.

"Gee, I didn't think I'd tired you out that badly. Here I thought you could hold your rum." A familiar, feminine voice joked, he peered over his arm, and felt a smile tugging at his lips.

"Not at all, lass. I was simply overwhelmed by your absence." He joked, "I'm being dramatic, the lad mentioned it worked on you,"

Emma laughed, a full and light laugh, "Oh now did he?" She questioned, "I'm going to have to have a talk with that kid,"

He sat up, "Perhaps, or you could come and give a pirate a kiss."

She shook her head, "You never give up, do you." She chuckled, moving in closer. "But, I was never very good at saying no." she said, ghosting her lips over his. He took control, catching her and pulling her down into his lap, and kissing her fully.

She pulled back, "What was that for?" she asked, kissing his jaw.

He smiled, "I just missed you is all." He whispered, nuzzling his nose into her hair.

 **Please review**

 **Sneak peek at next week!**

 _ **Killian couldn't breathe, this wasn't happening. He wasn't going to lose her like this.**_

 **Until Next time! Allons-y!**


	9. Epilogue

**A/N Okay guys, this is it. The final chapter of this story. Don't forget, there will be a sequel. I have of course had to push back the posting of the sequel do to life things kicking my muse's ass, but I'll be posting that story and the spinoff The Friday before the 19th episode, and the Friday before the much anticipated musical episode, and then updates will be every other Friday on each fic so you'll still be getting a chapter in this universe weekly Now the epilogue**

 **Disclaimer: I have a lot of ideas but not a lot of rights**

The night was dark. Killian chased after Emma, eyes on the blank dagger in her grasp. They came up on her parents, "Where is it?" she demands desperately.

"I don't know," David told them, looking around.

"It just disappeared into the night," Snow added.

Regina and Robin came down the street, drawn by the shouting, "Hey, what's going on?" Regina asked.

"The Dark One." Killian said in a soft voice, trying not to let his fear show, "It's no longer tethered to the Crocodile." He said, his eyes darting to the skies around them.

Regina looked shocked, with the right touch of fear to her expression, and when she spoke, her voice as well, "What?" She demanded, "Where the hell is it?"

Emma spun in a slow circle, taking in something that nobody else could see. "It didn't go anywhere." She whispered, "The darkness, it's surrounding us."

He felt as though he had swallowed stones. This was what happened to Neal's Emma, he was sure. The Dark One took her, and made her into the beast they had seen. Without warning it struck, wrapping around Regina like inky black tentacles. "What's it doing?" Robin demanded.

'making history repeat' Killian thought, but Emma vocally told them, "What Darkness does, it's snuffing out the light."

"Like hell it is!" Robin said charging the blackness, trying to reach the woman he loved within. He was launched back instantly, landing hard on the pavement.

"That's not going to work on something like this!" Emma cried, "We have to do what the sorcerer did. We have to tether it to a living soul" As soon as she finished the thought, she was charging the darkness.

Killian couldn't breathe, this wasn't happening. He wasn't going to lose her like this. He wasn't going to break his promise to Baelfire. He would protect her heart.

"No!" Regina shouted from inside the darkness, spotting Emma coming nearer. "There has to be another way." The queen's voice was pained.

"There isn't." Emma said softly, though he was sure her eyes were anything but. "You worked too hard, to have your happiness destroyed!" Emma cried.

'so have you' Killian thought, as his feet finally obeyed him, and David shouted for his daughter. Emma spun to face them, "You figured out how to take the darkness out of me once, you have to do it again, as heroes." She pleaded.

Killian ran forward, like hell he was going to lose her like this. The flashes of the leather clad Emma from that other time, still burned in his mind. "Emma! Emma, please!" he caught her, his hand closing around the wrist that held the dagger, "No. Don't do this." He begged, his hand was firm around her wrist, her other hand came to his face, calming despite the turmoil on her face, in her eyes.

"I love you." She whispered softly. Then she attempted to pull away, but Killian didn't let her, his hand slid to the dagger, and gently pried it from her hand.

"And I love you. Which is why I can't let you do this. I need to protect your heart. You helped me fight the darkness before, luv. If anyone can help me do it again? It's you." He said, as he wrapped his hooked arm around her waist and spun them so he was closer to the darkness. "I love you." He whispered with a kiss pressed to her lips, then he spun, the dagger flying up into the darkness. Emma, screaming his name, then pain, then nothing but darkness. Then, he heard birds, and someone was whistling.

 _The end_

 ** _please review!_**


	10. Heads up folks!

**Heads Up to all those who were interested! The Prologue of the Spinoff is up! It's called If I Never Leave: It Hurts To See You and Him spinoff**

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXO**


	11. Heads up again

**Heads up my friends, the sequel has just been posted, you can head on over to I'll Fight It for You, to continue with Killian on his journey post time travel**

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXO**


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